A Hard Reality

Today I had to visit the doctor for a particular (minor) issue and, of course, did the regular weigh-in and blood pressure check.  If I haven't blogged on this site for a long time, it's been almost as long since I concerned myself at all with my diet and exercise.  And today, that was evident.  My weight had crept up to 217, and I tried to brush it aside, telling myself that it wasn't really that high because I was wearing jeans and tennis shoes.  But the fact remains that I've put on all of the weight I lost, and probably more.  Ever since my bout with pre-ecclampsia with my first pregnancy, I have loathed with a passion having my blood pressure measured.  Undoubtedly, the electric machines are used and let's face it....those things are brutal!  Talk about having the life squeezed out of you!  Anyway, the technician looked at my readout with a frown on his face and then announced, "Your blood pressure is elevated today."  I felt like saying, "Duh!  My arm was about squeezed in half!"  Once again, I was trying to rationalize it away.  Whether my BP was high today because of the stress of going to the doctor or having my arm mercilessly squeezed, it was still high.  Which means that, as a minimum, I am borderline hypertensive.  Not good!  After I was ushered into my little waiting room, I sat in a daze, and I realized---perhaps for the first time---the seriousness of the situation.  Yes, I've long hated the way I look, and I've long known that I need to lose weight.  But I finally realized today how very serious this actually is.  I'm sure if I were to do that Biggest Loser test where they calculate your actual age based on health, it would probably make me cry.  I feel as if I was doused today with a very cold, bracing bucket of water.  This is a hard reality to face.

HOWEVER.  Like the Biggest Loser contestants, I can choose to do something about this.  I can turn my health around.  While I cannot spend 6-8 hours in a gym like they do (and really, I'm not entirely sure it's healthy in the long run to lose 80-100 lbs in a matter of weeks), I can get up off my hiney and do 30 minutes a day.  I can monitor what I'm eating and be vigilant about logging my calories on MyFitnessPal.com.  I can choose healthier food options.  To that end, I went online and looked up the nutritional guides to every major restaurant we typically eat in, printed them out, and put them in a binder to be left in the car.  This way, I can make informed decisions on healthy menu options even when we're eating out.  I can know in a glance that if I really want to splurge on that Olive Garden dinner or the Raisin' Cane box o' goodies, I'll basically be eating vegetable sticks and cereal the other meals of the day. 

So now it's time to set a goal for myself.  We are unable to attend language school this fall, but we are still working and praying to be funded in time to begin our language study in January, 2012.  My weight loss goal for the end of December---yes, even with holidays in there---is to lose 42 lbs.  This would put me at 175 lbs, almost half-way to my goal weight of 130 lbs.  It will be difficult.  And I'm sure I'll suffer setbacks.  But know I can do this.  I can change that hard reality into something great.