What You Don't See

Yesterday, I stepped on the scale for the first time in well over a month (and well before I sprained my ankle). I definitely didn't like what I saw. Between not being able to walk for a month and overindulging in some goodies from home (that lack of discipline really, REALLY gets me into trouble), I put back on 3 of the pounds I lost.

Some of you might think that 3 pounds is not a big deal. Some of that could be water weight. And that's true. I was bummed out for awhile, yes. After all, when you've been steadily losing weight, the last thing you want to see is the scale go in the opposite direction, right? Right.

But today, I realized something.

When I got dressed this morning, I didn't have to suck in my gut just to button or zip my pants (haven't in a long while, for that matter). In fact, I need to wear a belt with all of my pants or else they will fall off. I am wearing one of my new Hobbit t-shirts mom brought. I ordered it before Christmas in a couple sizes smaller than I have worn in many, many years. And while it is snugger than shirts I typically wear, it's DEFINITELY not something I would've even been able to put on when we arrived. Or even at Christmas, for that matter. Furthermore, yesterday, I wore a shirt I'd purchased right before leaving the States. When we arrived, it was long, but not overly so. Yesterday, it almost looked like a dress on me.

When I step on the scale, all I focus on are the numbers. Are they good? Are they bad? Have I made progress? Lost it? What I don't see, however, is what everyone else sees when they look at me: I have visibly lost weight. My clothes are looser. My face has thinned somewhat, as have other parts of me. Nobody else sees the scale numbers unless I feel like sharing them.

This is what I need to remember. It's not just about the numbers. They are important, yes. Because with each pound and inch lost, I'm making myself healthier and healthier. But in the end, they're only numbers. I need to forget what everyone else doesn't see and focus on what they do see.

A smaller me.