For the first time in over a month, I gained weight during the week. Just a pound, but still. Considering the week I had last week, I wouldn't have been surprised if it had been much, much worse. Nevertheless, backwards is not a direction worth taking, as this blog entry title states. My ultimate goal is weight loss, not weight gain.
Up until now, I've neglected to post my food diaries on days I've eaten things I shouldn't have. Somehow, if I don't put it in and click that magic "submit" button, it's as if that day never happened. But I know better. And come weigh-in time, the scale certainly knows better. So as difficult as it will be to be blatantly, let-it-all-out-there honest, I'm afraid that's exactly what it's going to take. Even on travel days (which we have coming up). Even on days when I'm not in charge of my own dinner (again, as we have coming up). And yes, even on holidays. I had originally planned to just forego journaling at all during the holiday season (from Thanksgiving through the end of the year) so that I could enjoy the holidays without guilt. But won't there still be guilt come January 2 when I weigh in and....oops!...discover that I've managed to gain back all of the weight I'd previously lost (and then some, probably)? Most certainly.
So as painful as it will be having to cut back on the peppermint ice cream, Christmas cookies, fudge (fudge!), party mix, and other goodies that I enjoy year after year, I will have to learn to enjoy these things in smaller doses (or else do 3 hours of exercises a day in order to indulge in that extra cookie. No thank you!). Which, coincidentally, is the whole point of this. I've always said that if I had to give up entirely all of the foods I love life wouldn't be worth living. And there truly isn't anything wrong with eating a dish of ice cream, or enjoying that Christmas cookie. I've just got to learn how to eat in moderation.
That is the key to this whole process. Once I have it figured out (and I mean, down pat!), I will never have to concern myself with weight issues again. Once I am finally at that place I want to be, I don't plan on looking backward to see what I've missed. Because backward is just not a direction worth taking.
