Surprising Weigh-In

So the last time I've weighed in was shortly before Thanksgiving, using our Wii (I always hate doing it that way, as the horrified "Oh!" from the machine when I step on the Wii Fit Board is obnoxious. Plus, there's the added joy of watching your little Mii character rapidly inflate like a balloon right before my eyes).

When it came time for setting my fitness goals for this year, therefore, I didn't have an accurate weight to base my calculations off of. I just assumed I'd put on a ton of weight over Christmas, increasing the amount I'd need to lose to reach my goal (of 125--I'm not going by the Wii's suggestion of 116. I'm a mom of four who is shortly to turn 40 years old. I don't need to try and kill myself to reach 116 pounds. If I can't be happy at 125, I have bigger fish to fry than 9 extra pounds).

Out of curiosity, and mainly because the first mini goal I'd set for myself of losing 25 lbs by March 31 is rapidly approaching, I drug out the Wii and weighed in. Shockingly, today's weight was 202. Less than I weighed when we arrived back in the States in June, 6 lbs less than I weighed in November, and far less than I'd imagined it would be today. So, either I've lost a bunch of weight without even really trying, or I hadn't gained as much as I'd thought at Christmas time.

Which means I only have 77 lbs to lose to reach my goal instead of closer to 100. I can live with that. I tabulated how much I'd need to lose in order to reach my goal by December 31, and it came out to about 1.8 lbs a week. Something that is completely doable.

To that end, here's the new goal schedule:

June 17 - 177 lbs (25 lbs lost)
September 26 - 151 (51 lbs lost)
December 31 - goal reached (77 lbs lost)

New Workout Schedule

I'm back on the MyFitnessPal wagon (kind of have to if I want to hit my first goal of 25 lbs down by March 31--not sure that's possible at this point, unfortunately).

I've also purchased a new walking DVD that goes up to 5 miles! Whoa, I'm not ready for that yet, but I do have a revised schedule in mind that will help me make it to that huge mile marker.

Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays through April 30 - 2 miles
Tuesdays & Thursdays through April 30 - 3 miles

Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays from May 1 through August 31 - 3 miles
Tuesdays & Thursdays from May 1 through August 31 - 4 miles

Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays from September 1 - 4 miles
Tuesdays & Thursdays from September 1 - 5 miles

Once I'm in maintenance mode, I'll try different mile lengths each week to keep things "fresh".

Creating Habits - Habit # 1

They say it takes six weeks of doing some consecutively in order to develop a habit. So, after some discussion with my missionary life coach at HQ, we've come up with a plan to create some great habits for me.

Earlier this year, I had a complete meltdown in Mexico. Culture stress hit, big time. I've done a lot of thinking about it over the last couple months and now believe I understand why.

(1) Lack of exercise. In general, I was flat out not taking care of myself physically. And when you're exhausted and out of shape, that takes a toll.

(2) Lack of devotions. Once again, I let the daily devotions slide. I've been a Christian a long time to know that this leads to many unhealthy attitudes.

So, already, I was spiritually, physically, and emotionally exhausted, everything running out but nothing going back in.

(3) Lack of confidence with Spanish. If you're going to live in a foreign country, you have to be able to speak the language, preferably with confidence. (Or at least with gumption.) Even if you're making mistakes while doing it. (Especially if you're making mistakes.) The more confidence I lacked, the more hesitant I was to speak. And this made simple, every day life--even just leaving my house--a huge ordeal in my mind.

With these in mind, we've come up with a plan to shore up all three of these areas. It is my personal belief that, once this is accomplished, I'll be better equipped to handle stresses that come my way.

Habit # 1 -

These next six weeks, until the middle of October, my goal is to get in 5 days a week of 30-45 minute exercise (45 minutes is preferable). I'm also trying to work on drinking 8-8 oz glasses of water every day. Some websites say I should be drinking as much as 100 oz of water a day (!!), but when you're drinking 4 oz a day, working up to 64 is a big enough task. My eventual goal is to work up to drinking 12-8 oz glasses of water a day. Finally, I'm logging calories again on Myfitnesspal, something I detest, but at the same time, it helps me to see what's going in and what's coming out. Plus, it helps me to ensure I'm not getting too much daily sodium, which is something my doctor wanted me to monitor. I made a calendar for each month, and each of these three mini goals gets a different colored sticker. This way, I can look at the calendar and see at a glance which mini goals I've met and which I haven't.

Once I have successfully logged six complete weeks of weekly exercise (where I hit my goal of exercising 5 out of 7 days) AND have lost 10 pounds, I get to buy a small jar candle from Yankee Candle. For every 10 pounds lost after that, I get to buy another small jar candle. (Troy and I discussed these and have agreed on the rewards.)

We will be back in Mexico City next summer---if not fully funded ready to begin a new term of service (please, God!)---for the big 25th anniversary in July. I would absolutely love to go back 50 pounds lighter, with only 30 pounds to go to reach my final goal. (And that's keeping to a very modest monthly weight loss. I could completely reach my goal before the end of June if I kicked it up a notch. Something to consider--especially as I originally wanted to reach my goal weight before my 40th birthday next July.)

So for now, this is the habit I'm working on establishing. Next up, regular daily devotions for longer than 10 minutes.

Working to Get Back on Track

If I'm honest, I was at my healthiest in Costa Rica. Walking every day, eating out only once a week, then eating fresh, healthy food during the rest of the week really helped me slim down. Not nearly as much as I needed to (that dratted sprained ankle really came at a bad time, when I was just gaining momentum), of course.

While we didn't eat out a whole lot more, not walking every day once we got to Mexico and had the use of a car, really made a difference.

Then, throw in a huge amount of stress as we transitioned back to the States for our furlough year as well as a LOT of eating out and sitting in a car traveling for long hours at a time.

Yikes.

So today, after completing 2 miles with Leslie Sansone and a stretchy band, I hopped onto the Wii Fit board for a baseline weight reading. It was not what I wanted to see, of course. Actually, it was the same as it was at last month's doctor's checkup. And following the checkup, we spent 10 days at a camp where we were very well fed, followed by more travel and transition. So, either I gained and then lost weight back to that amount, or I maintained throughout that entire month of irregular eating. Either sounds good to me. Point is, I have a baseline to work down from.

The thing that really annoyed me this morning, however, was the Wii Fit voice. Anyone who has ever weighed in on the Wii fit board (and have pounds to lose) will understand when I complain about that obnoxious little voice that always cries, "Oh!!" when you step on the board. Like you're this enormous 2-ton Goliath instead of a 200-lb woman. It's very insulting and not in the least encouraging. Apparently, her mother never told her that if she didn't have anything nice to say, she shouldn't say anything at all.

Already, I'm missing my digital scale in Mexico. At least it didn't talk back to me.

End of February Weigh-In

Lost another 1.5 pounds this week (last week I didn't exercise and had gained just a little bit), weighing in at 182.

While it would be awesome if that number was higher, that was only with walking 8 miles this week (for the bigger numbers, I think I'll have to get in my full 12). I also know I'd speed up this process if I restricted my diet, but as this is more of a lifestyle change and NOT a diet, I'd rather not. I think increasing my level of exercise and eating a variety of foods (within limits, of course. Can't lose weight if I eat fast food every day or even several times a week) will be easier to maintain once I reach my goal weight. My ultimate goal, after all, is to be a new healthier me by the time I reach my 40th birthday.

I am a mere 2 pounds from my driver's license weight and a mere 7 pounds from what I weighed when we got married. Awesome!

A Big Week

Last week, when I weighed in, I was pleased to discover I hadn't gained back too much weight after leaving Costa Rica.

This week, I'm excited to say that I am a mere 3 pounds away from the weight I've claimed to be on my driver's license for the last 12 years. Looks like my ultimate goal of weighing 125 pounds by the end of September is actually in reach.

Today, I weighed 183 pounds. I will continue to do weekly weigh-ins each Friday. On the last day of each month, I will have Troy measure me to chart how many inches I've been losing as well.

First Mexico Weigh-In

Since arriving in Mexico back in August, I knew I'd put back on some weight (my face is fuller and my pants aren't as loose as they were in March before I sprained my ankle). But I'm not walking absolutely EVERYWHERE (on hills even) anymore, so it's little wonder.

Well, Troy finally bought a scale today and I stepped on it with no small amount of fear and trembling. The shocking news? I'm the same weight I was in May, the last time I'd posted my weight on my blog--190. And I'm only 2 pounds heavier than at my lowest weight in March. So I guess I haven't been doing too badly after all!

I've been doing 40-45 minutes of a walking DVD pretty sporadically (my goal is to do it 5 days a week), and we're still pretty much only eating out on weekends, when we do eat out.

I have a goal of losing 15 pounds by March 1. It might be an impossible goal, but I want to give it a shot.

Return to Normal

I weighed in today to see what the total damage was from essentially two months of not walking every day, two-ten day breaks, and lots of eating out/goodies from home. I was down from three weeks ago, but in total gained two pounds. Not bad. (Not great, but not bad, either.)

My goal was to lose half the weight I need to lose while in Costa Rica, down to 165 pounds. I'm sitting right at 190. It would require me to lose roughly 2 lbs a week for the next 3 months in order to accomplish this goal. It's definitely doable. We'll see.

Starting again today. I walked three laps around the park at my normal gait and am enjoying a bowl of Corn Flakes and a cup of tea for breakfast. I plan to watch the calories (but not too closely). I won't post another weight until the second week of June, but hopefully, it'll be in the lower 180s (my plan of posting the first of the month is out, as that is my cycle--never a good idea to weigh just before or just after a period).

The Day I Climbed a Mountain

Okay, so it wasn't really a mountain.

There is an amazing park a couple hours from our house, up in the mountains, with a huge variety of Costa Rican birds, frogs (some poisonous!), butterflies, and monkeys. There are even some big cats, and not of the domestic sort. But the highlight of this park are the waterfalls. One giant cascade and several smaller falls. They are spectacular. However, to view them, you must walk a path that includes many, many stairs. The first half of the trail has stairs that go down. But, what goes down must come up again. Naturally.

The first time we visited the park in September, those stairs felt every bit like a mountain. I had only been walking to school and back, and even at that only for two weeks. I hadn't lost weight yet at that point. And so descending the stairs was tough, but not too bad. Going up, however... I thought I was going to die. My heart has never pounded so fiercely, my gasps for air never more audible. Even with frequent rests, it was almost more than I could manage. A friend walking the trail with us took one look at my face and, concern etched across hers, asked if I was okay. I was most assuredly not. I finally did manage the trek, completely worn to a frazzle.

The second time we visited the park in March, during mom's visit, I had every intention of walking the trail, but for the little inconvenience of a recently sprained ankle. It was decided I would not attempt the trek (one of my wiser decisions), and so I had a lovely 45 minute wait for the family up at the check-in desk, comfortably ensconced in one of the twin rocking chairs overlooking the view.

We took my aunt to the park this last week, what is very likely our last visit there. My ankle mended, I decided I wanted one last chance to see the gorgeous waterfalls. I will say that the steps were not made for people with short legs, as walking down them takes about two of my steps to every one of someone else's of a more average height. No matter. We saw the big waterfall, and enjoyed having the place to ourselves for a long time before seeing any other tourists. The big test of my recent weight loss and fitness level loomed.

The staircase to heaven, or so it seemed. The mountain of my previous trek.

I began the climb at a rapid pace and continued all the way to the top without a single pause. My heart was rapidly beating, but after all, stair-climbing is an excellent cardio workout! I was breathing hard, but not laboriously. I never once experienced the sensation of light-headedness, as I had before.
Thanks to the 15 pounds I've lost, and the miles I walk every week, I have attained a new level of fitness I've not seen in many, many years.

I may never climb an actual mountain, but it is due more to the fact that I am terrified of heights than because of ability. But making that trek without stopping, without feeling like I was going to die is every bit as big an accomplishment for me as actually climbing a mountain would be. And so, on that Tuesday, you may well understand why I was so proud of myself. Why I felt such joy.

It was the day I climbed a mountain.

What You Don't See

Yesterday, I stepped on the scale for the first time in well over a month (and well before I sprained my ankle). I definitely didn't like what I saw. Between not being able to walk for a month and overindulging in some goodies from home (that lack of discipline really, REALLY gets me into trouble), I put back on 3 of the pounds I lost.

Some of you might think that 3 pounds is not a big deal. Some of that could be water weight. And that's true. I was bummed out for awhile, yes. After all, when you've been steadily losing weight, the last thing you want to see is the scale go in the opposite direction, right? Right.

But today, I realized something.

When I got dressed this morning, I didn't have to suck in my gut just to button or zip my pants (haven't in a long while, for that matter). In fact, I need to wear a belt with all of my pants or else they will fall off. I am wearing one of my new Hobbit t-shirts mom brought. I ordered it before Christmas in a couple sizes smaller than I have worn in many, many years. And while it is snugger than shirts I typically wear, it's DEFINITELY not something I would've even been able to put on when we arrived. Or even at Christmas, for that matter. Furthermore, yesterday, I wore a shirt I'd purchased right before leaving the States. When we arrived, it was long, but not overly so. Yesterday, it almost looked like a dress on me.

When I step on the scale, all I focus on are the numbers. Are they good? Are they bad? Have I made progress? Lost it? What I don't see, however, is what everyone else sees when they look at me: I have visibly lost weight. My clothes are looser. My face has thinned somewhat, as have other parts of me. Nobody else sees the scale numbers unless I feel like sharing them.

This is what I need to remember. It's not just about the numbers. They are important, yes. Because with each pound and inch lost, I'm making myself healthier and healthier. But in the end, they're only numbers. I need to forget what everyone else doesn't see and focus on what they do see.

A smaller me.

Back At It

This last week, my ankle finally healed enough for me to resume my morning walks, albeit on a few days a week at first instead of the full five. Last week, I walked a total of 1.5 miles each of those who mornings. Next week, I'll step it up to 1.5 miles for three mornings. Hopefully, the week after that, I'll be able to stretch it to the full 2 miles. Once I'm able to comfortably (on my ankle -- now that I've been away several weeks, I've noticed I'm starting at square one, endurance wise) able to handle 2 miles, three days a week, I'll go back to the full five days.

I have a goal to reach, after all, and not much more time in which to reach it.

An Unfortunate Development

Things were chugging along nicely. I was getting up at 5 AM five days a week and walking 2 miles in the park with a friend. I was steadily losing weight. Not at a breakneck speed, but there was progress. I really started feeling great about myself.

And then it happened.

In my obsession to get to the gate at school before it was shut (which would require me to walk the long way home. Good grief), I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and stepped off the edge of the sidewalk. Honestly, it's a miracle I was able to catch myself from crashing into the concrete bench in front of me. In my moment of stupid, sheer clumsiness, I twisted my ankle.

Now, I have a sprained ankle I can't walk on due to stiffness. In my reading, I've seen that it can take weeks before I'm back to normal and am able to walk like I used to. Weeks. Just when things were going so well...

To say that I'm frustrated with myself is an understatement. A gross understatement.

There's not a lot I can do about it. To rush my healing is to risk further injury. More lasting injury. And that's just not worth it.

So, I may have to do what I did a couple years ago. And that's keep track of my daily caloric intake on Myfitnesspal. We'll see. I'd really like to continue losing weight, not losing the ground I've reached.

Maybe that will be a big incentive to keeping track of my calories--something I detest.

Regularity

This may seem like too much information for y'all, but I'm gonna say it anyway. Who knows? It might be affecting other women in my shoes.

I haven't had a regular menstrual cycle for over 16 years. It coincides with the rate at which I gained weight. Before we were married, I even had a doctor tell me that, due to my obesity (I really loathe that word), it would be difficult--if not impossible--for me to get pregnant when that time came. Well, four kids later, she was clearly not correct about that. However. She was right about my irregularity. Each year I gained weight, my periods came less and less frequently. There were years I had about one or two a year. And that can't possibly be healthy, right?

In the last several months, since the weight has really started to come off, my periods have become increasingly regular. In fact, the last two have occurred the same time of the month as each other. And for me, that's not something that has happened since I was about 22 years old.

Who knew losing weight would bring back the regularity to my cycles?!

Like I said at the beginning: this may be more information than you've ever wanted to know about me. But for that one obese woman who has been struggling with getting pregnant due to irregular periods, these next few words are for you:

Honey, you know you need to lose weight. You know it. I don't have to tell you that being obese is not healthy for you. And it's certainly not healthy for that baby you so desperately want to have. If you lose some weight--so far, I've only lost about 12% of my total body weight--not only will you feel and look better, have more energy, and improve your health, you may bring back more regular cycles as well. And as we both know, it's extremely difficult to get pregnant with irregular cycles. Your baby is worth the hard work and effort on your part. But more importantly, so are you.

Biggest Loser's Got Nuthin' on Me!

After discovering last month that I'd been losing weight with absolutely no effort at all, I decided to kick things up a notch. So, for the last 3 weeks, a friend and I have been getting up at 5 AM during the week and walking around a park near both of our homes. Including getting to and from the park, plus our 3 laps around the park, we get in about 2 miles each morning. While there have been a couple days when I wasn't able to go, we've been pretty regular.

So today was weigh-in day. Since my January, I have lost 6 pounds--5 of those in the last week alone! (Yes, I cheated and weighed myself a week early. But as I had only lost 1 lb, I didn't see the need to post.) I haven't changed my diet. All I've done is added 40 minutes of walking 5 days a week. And really, between groceries, going to the feria, church, or meeting with Laura to practice my Spanish, I probably get another two miles for the weekend combined.

Troy did measure me last month, but I can't for the life of me believe I neglected to post those measurements! And unfortunately, the most "recent" measurements I have to go by are ones from 2009. Brother.

So these can serve as a reference point.

Arm - 13 1/2 inches
Thigh - 23 1/4 inches
Abdomen - 46 3/4 inches
Waist - 44 inches
Chest - 44 inches

Weight today - 188 (Just 8 more pounds, and I'll officially weigh what my driver's license claims I weigh)

Actual Progress!!

I can't remember the last time I stepped on the scale. Let's call it July. Or June. Or even August. I have no clue. At any rate, I do know that the last time I weighed in, I did take the time to update my Myfitnesspal profile with the current weight. Whenever it was that I weighed in last, I was 208 pounds.

As I mentioned in my last post, I know that I've been losing weight (although I wouldn't say it's been "melting" off). While I hadn't stepped on a scale until today, I knew I was losing because literally all of my pants are baggy. To the point that with many of them, I have to put a belt on or they will slide to the floor. The others seem to slide down as I walk, so I'm constantly pulling them back up. Always a good problem to have (except in the case of my favorite capri pants. I left the white belt that came with them at home, so I must either try to find a slim belt here or stop wearing them).

Over the weekend, a fellow student told me she'd found a scale at Price Smart. And it was reasonably priced, too. So I determined to pick one up. I was tired of not knowing my weight (never thought I'd actually feel that way!). At my wonderful husband's suggestion, however, we first checked another store; we found one for about $10 cheaper than we would've paid, always a bonus.

We got it home, and he immediately brought it back to me so I could test it out. Now, I was fully dressed, including jeans and shoes (although I did at least kick the shoes off). I got on, hoping for a good number, but not really expecting one.

The number shocked me. In a good way.

194. 194!!! I lost 14 pounds without EVEN TRYING! Good grief, I walk down the hill to school twice a day, then back up the hill twice more, a total of 5 minutes each way (maybe)! There are occasionally times I walk to other places, but I certainly haven't been putting in the hard work required with weight loss. I'm still eating my favorite foods and enjoying sodas. The biggest difference is that we're not eating out 3-4 times a week. Our dining out is restricted to weekends, normally just on Sundays. And it's usually a Tican plate, or pizza. Not fast food.

So imagine what I can lose with a little concentrated effort on my part? The idea thrills and scares me all at the same time.

However, I make a promise to myself that I will never see the 200s again. I do not ever want to be that heavy ever again in life.

Roughin' It?

I've been on Survivor: Costa Rica for 3 months already. Now that we're here, I can say things aren't quite as I thought they'd be.

For starters, our house is much closer than we anticipated. Instead of a 20 minute walk every day, we have less than a ten minute walk. And while we've consumed bags of rice, there haven't been a whole ton of beans in our diet, a diet that remarkably resembles our normal diet back home. The biggest difference is that we're only eating out once a week (on Sundays). And speaking of eating out, while actually getting to fast food restaurants takes a bit of effort (or some colones for the bus or taxi), they are actually far more accessible than restaurants at home.....because they deliver! Yes, you read that right! That's just what a dieter needs...

Don't get me wrong. I have actually lost some weight. I'm not sure how much, exactly, but all of my pants are quite a bit looser, and my face has thinned out an iota. But the weight isn't just flying off, as I originally imagined. (Man, there's a mental picture for ya.)

The biggest disappointment came last night when, out of curiosity, I dug out my wedding ring and crammed it on my finger to see if it fit. Oh, it fit, all right. But it immediately began cutting off all circulation to that finger. (Not good.) After yanking, soaking in cold water, and more yanking, I had to admit defeat. Troy got out the bottle of vegetable oil and pour it over my finger. Bingo! After more yanking and twisting, it came off. I won't be trying that again for awhile. The disappointment came in realizing that I can't just keep on as I've been if I want this weight to come off. I think it would, but it would take a long time.

Glad we brought my friend Leslie Sansone and her gang of walkers along. I think I'll be spending a bit of time every day with her.

Survivor: Costa Rica

In August, I will embark upon Survivor: Costa Rica.

Before you get all impressed, it's not that Survivor. Admit it, I know what you were thinking. "She's gonna be on that show? Well, I know who's going home first..." (Don't worry. I'm right there thinking the same thing. The idea of me being on that Survivor is....laughable.)

The best parts? I get to take my whole family. I won't have to live on a secluded island without a flush toilet or air-conditioning. I won't have to put up with people who scheme, connive, and lie just to get ahead.

So what do I mean? Unless you are regular subscribers or readers of either my writing blog or our ministry blogs (links on the home page), you haven't heard the news. Our mission board (yes, we're missionaries) cleared us to leave for language school in Costa Rica in August. We're doing a shortened term; one year in Costa Rica learning Spanish, then one year in Mexico City.

Aside from the amazing news that we're finally leaving, after years of funding, here's the really cool part and what it means for me:

We'll be without a car for ONE YEAR. Which means that we'll have to either walk everywhere or take public transportation. Our home will likely be at least a 10-minute walk, one way, to the school. So, five days a week we'll be walking to and from school. Then on weekends, unless our church, the market, etc. are really too far away to walk, we'll be walking on those days as well. Combine that with not having fast food as accessible as it is here, and a regular diet of (lots of) rice and beans, and that means that the pounds will be coming off.

If other ladies are any indication, it would not surprise me in the least if at least half (if not more) of what I need to lose will be shed before the year is up.

When we return to the States in 2014, a very different looking Jenny will be stepping off that plane. Just like often happens with contestants of the other Survivor. I may not be in the running for a million bucks. But I will have received something far more precious than money at the end of my stint on Survivor: Costa Rica.

My life.

Bad Report

We received the report back from our physicals. Sigh. The news was not good. Not that I'm really shocked, mind. It's just depressing seeing those words in black and white. So here goes.

The good news is that my cholesterol is in acceptable levels. For now. And I'm not yet diabetic. But I'm working my way there. The extremely bad news is that I do indeed have high blood sugar and asthma. What I did not expect, however, was that I am also anemic.

With the exception of the asthma, all of these things can be improved with diet and exercise. He recommended 30 minutes a day, most days. I can do that. He also recommended getting the asthma under control before we move to Mexico City. Did I mention that there is an intense smog problem in Mexico City, and that it is about 5,000 feet above sea level?

I've poo-pooed this whole weight issue for far too long. If my own poor health is not a major motivation for me to really take this seriously, then my family's future should be. What if we can't go to Mexico because of me? And what if I could've done something about it but didn't? That would be awful. I've simply GOT to get this in gear.

Maybe I need to type up a reminder of this on little note cards and place them all over the house. For those mornings when I don't want to get up and exercise. And for those times I want nothing more than to dig into a giant cheeseburger with greasy, salty french fries.

Today's weight: 206 (which, for the record is 5 lbs less than the day of our physicals, March 8. But 5 lbs in almost 2 months? Pitiful.)

Back to Business

Our mission board requires all overseas missionaries to have physicals before departing for the field, and since we were at our HQ for my anti-human trafficking training this last month, we went ahead and got ours done. Yikes. My blood pressure was through the roof! Part of it was that I was nervous and the cuff was freakishly tight (felt like it was gonna cut me in half!). But as much as I want to rationalize it away and say it was only high because of that, I know in my heart that it's still high. The doctor retook it after the physical, and it was still high, but it had come down some (he never would tell me what it was). As he didn't immediately prescribe blood pressure medication or hospitalize me, I'm assuming it wasn't immediately threatening. I had told him about signing up for My Fitness Pal  and that I'd lost 20 lbs last year. I'm sure he's expecting me to pick things back up now that we're not away from home (we hope to arrive back home sometime tomorrow).

So here I am. When I get home, I want to find an accountability partner--someone who will call me every day and ask me if I've exercised. If I logged my calories and remained under the set goals for calories and sodium. We are praying to be fully funded and able to leave for language school in August. By that point, I want to be down 30 lbs (that's 1.5 lbs a week between now and August 1-ish). As of the doctor's appointment last Thursday, I've gained back all but 6 of the pounds I lost. Hmm. Not cool.

I've got to do better than that.

Big Talk, No Action

Big talk, no action. Yup. That's me alright. How many years has this drug on now? Way too many. All I know to do is to pick myself up and try again. And just keep trying until I get it right.

I only have two resolutions for this new year: (1) To finally get my weight under control and get down to a healthy weight, and (2) To finish (and publish) my novel. I would love to have something BIG to celebrate at the end of 2012. It would be really amazing to celebrate the publication of my first book at a much smaller size--a size I am finally not ashamed of.

I think instead of setting mini goals for myself, I'm just gonna try taking things one day at a time. That's all. Just one day at a time. If I mess up today, there's not really any reason I'll necessarily do it again tomorrow. I just need to focus on today and let tomorrow worry about itself---something that is a really good practice to master. Some of the best weight loss advice I've ever heard was not even about weight loss...nor from a real person. This year, as often as I may stumble, I want to "just keep swimming, just keep swimming" and keep picking myself back up. So thanks, Dorie, for the sage advice.

So, here we are on January 10. Starting weight tonight (on the bedroom scale even) was 208. Let's just see where tomorrow takes me.